Today at Wal Mart

What a great start to a post, right?

But really, today at Wal Mart was very interesting indeed.

I decided to head there early in the AM. With the kids (all of them, in-service day for the boys). In my pajamas. Without, ahem, support for “the ladies”, if you know what I mean. (I was wearing a sweatshirt, so it wasn’t so obvious but we are starting a garden so I thought perhaps to fit in I should start going without “support” more often to fit in sufficiently).

Anywho, we started out at the can take back center. It had been over a month since I took back any cans so things looked really bad (beer cans, a few whiskey containers, a few wine jugs, the usual). But as I was putting the cans in the container I turned to the kids who were sprinting towards the computerized job application center.

“Kids, look at me, do not touch the screen. Understand? No touching. Did you hear?” – Me

“Yes” -kids

I turn back around to finish the can business. Take a peek at the kids just in time to watch Tariku touch the screen.

“Tariku! Come here. What are you doing?” – Me

“Touching the screen.” – Tariku

“Why? Did you hear me just tell you not to do that?” – Me

“Yes.” -Tariku

“Ok, well spit out your gum, and you can take a break with me then.” -Me

All of a sudden a guy (we’ll call him “genius”), also taking back cans, breaks out in applause.

Applause. Towards me.

He starts yelling, “Thank you! Thank you for being a good mom! Thank you for following through on what you say! Consequences, they’re called consequences, people!”

Have I mentioned I love Wal Mart?

So genius and I have a good talk. About how his wife threatens the kids and then keeps threatening and then keeps threatening them.

Genius told me his kids know that when he tells them he’s going to throw their butts through the window, they know he means it (we’ll start calling him “misunderstood”).

Ok…moving along, back to my superb mothering skills…

“Seriously”, misunderstood says, “that’s what’s wrong with parents today though, man. They have no respect from their kids. You got that, look at him (pointing at Tariku) that kid knows you mean what you say.”

And I suppose he does. I suppose all my kids do.

I’m not mean (though they might think so from time to time) but I do tend to hold my ground decently well. Sometimes, though, I get so angry I’ll say something like, “Stop doing that or you’ll never get a toy again for the rest of your life.”

Riiiiiiight.

Either way, today I decided Wal Mart isn’t so bad after all. Or at least genius/misunderstood isn’t so bad.

I also decided next time I might throw on some support, a bit of mascara and really throw people for a loop in that place.

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8 thoughts on “Today at Wal Mart

  1. Niiiiiiice!No, seriously, nice.I am also one who follows through on my threats. I've learned to pick my battles carefully and only rarely threaten ridiculous things. Tonight, Matthew sat in the break chair for 45 minutes. Whenever I asked if he was ready to talk about what he did to get there, he said 'Nope.' I just about lost it – he kept his cool. Tell me, who gets the standing ovation?

  2. I think genius just knew that you were going "commando" with the girls and he wanted to keep checking them out. were his eyes averted upward or diverted chestward? hmmmm???but you definitely ARE a good mommy!!

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