What Do You Do…

when you leave for Ethiopia in a matter of hours?

You watch The Bachelor. Because it’s hilarious and because it’s an ounce of normalcy that has not come your way in at least 2 days. (But seriously, they just attempted to play rugby, and it was a sad representation of women in athletics, but whatever).

So we’re packed. Turns out 50lbs is heavier than I thought…meaning you can get A LOT of luggage stuffed into 50lbs. If it weren’t for the immense amount of donations we got, we’d be left with very little luggage. I’m highly impressed with the two of us (but mostly just me, because this is rare for me).

I’m on our computer, which is a great sign. It looks different and doesn’t remember my favorite websites which is sad. At least it’s something.

I just had to say good bye to my puppy. I probably won’t see him for 2 weeks as we’ll give Tariku a few days before we sic the 115lb lab on him. Makes me miss him already.

It’s happening isn’t it? Commercial is over. I’m out. πŸ™‚

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That’s the sound a computer makes when the hard drive crashes. I know this, because it happend to our laptop just a few short hours ago. Which laptop you ask? Oh that’d be our laptop we were planning on taking to Ethiopia. Are you staying calm Tesi, you may ask? Hells to the no, is what I would answer, should anyone ask me this.

So yeah computer is down. Zach went to Best Buy and they were “nice” enough to install a new hard drive for us (they were nice, but it was EXPENSIVE). Good news is we’ll have something for Ethiopia. Bad news is, nothing is backed up because we are not good computer users. So we’re praying there is a computer genius out there who can fix it for us.

And my hair appointment was rescheduled.

Could it get any worse? πŸ™‚

Other than that, we’re hanging in over here. I’m packed, Tariku is packed. Trysten and Dailah are packed. Zach is still holding out for clean clothes. πŸ™‚

My mom’s friends sure do know how to rally around a good cause. We’ve got donations raining around us like it’s our business. There are no words for how much we appreciate the support!

And we have one and half days. And I must get to Wal Mart soon, I was told just today that Tariku likes sunglasses…a lot. So I need to go buy all they have apparently. He must like me, and everyone knows a mom without sunglasses to give to her new son is no mom at all.

2 Days

So yesterday we went to church, to small group and then met my parents at an outlet mall to do a little retail therapy. Church was great. It solidified the fact that Zach and I are the perfect couple, ahem, which is always nice. Small group was wonderful as we were met with many well wishers and people promising to pray for us, which is always comforting. Not to mention Cassie brought heaping bags of donations for the care center, which is much appreciated as well. Shopping with my parents felt wonderful. You should be proud of me to hear I only cried a few minutes once I left them. It makes me wonder if there’s a 12 step program for adoption? I think I’ve been at the “cry it out” stage for awhile. Or perhaps I’m at the second “cry it out” stage. Who knows. Either way, whew! Last night I “encouraged” Zach to start packing. We’re getting there, we’re getting there.

So 2 more days. I mean, I don’t even know what to say about it except it’s becoming quite real now. I’ll do a final cleaning tomorrow and then we’ll move Tariku’s bed up by ours so we’re right there for him in case he has nightmares. I’m doing laundry for the final time. I’ll go get groceries that will surely cost a small fortune tonight so I won’t have to do it for at least a week after we get home.

When you start a journey like this you can never really imagine what it will feel like in the next part of the process. You daydream about the referral call, and the court date call and the travel call. You have it built up in your mind a certain way. All of the realities have been different than my daydreams on each one of these. So has the waiting to travel period. I cannot believe how quickly these 2 weeks have gone by. I cannot believe on Wednesday we’ll leave this house and when we come back so much will have changed.

This is just awesome. I am honestly loving every minute of this. To think we’ll be bringing this boy I’ve been praying about home, is just beyond words. The excitement is growing in this house. This morning Trysten pledged to share even his underwear with his little brother. Dailah has mastered the art of saying Tariku, though it sounds more like “TQ” which is kinda cute. I’ve only had moments of “madwoman” status, like last night when I “encouraged” Zach to pack even though none of his undies, socks, shirts or pants were clean. He “obliged” and laid aside a pair of shoes and a hat. How sweet!

So today is all about relaxing with the kids in the morning, getting my hair did this afternoon (that doubles as a chance to see a friend before we leave, that’s my excuse, I’m sticking to it) stopping by another friends’ house to say “see you later” and then hitting up Wal Mart where I’ll make even Sam Walton himself shudder with how big the bill will surely be. That will hopefully give me at least another hour of QT with the kids before they hit the pillow and I soon follow.

How Are You Feeling?

That’s what someone asked me today. And since I like talking about my feelings so much…

I think I’ve literally felt everything these last 24 hours. Physically, I’m still not over my sinus crap and it seems to have gotten worse again today? Emotionally I’m crying again. I thought we were done here, but apparently not. I made the mistake of opening the mail and seeing a very nice card and money from one of my parents’ good friends. They have been such great people and I was just so humbled by it.

Then it was this, and that. And it all leads to me crying. I think the main emotion I’ve been feeling today is sadness. It was the first time really that it’s hit me that I’ll be leaving Trysten and Dailah for so long. And in case that video didn’t show you I’ve got some really sweet kids on my hands (I mean, how cute is Trysten, seriously? That was all him too by the way). Wednesday-Friday is a long time. Zach took Tman to daddy/tman night tonight. Dailah and I got some quality time as well. Dailah cried whenever she thought of Zach and Trysten being gone. It could be a long week for her.

But overall, I’m feeling fairly calm still. 4 days. 4 days sounds remarkably shorter than 5 days (I realize it’s shorter, but it just sounds A LOT shorter). So I commenced to packing some of Trysten and Dailah’s things. Once Dailah goes down I’ll start trying on long skirts of mine that I haven’t worn since I quit work in August. Should be interesting. Then I’ll throw a few things of mine in as well.

I’m at the point today where I want to hold on to every moment like these because it’s our last time as a family of 4. I just keep thinking to myself, “Remember this, Tesi, remember this.”

So that’s why I blogged, so that I’d remember (or at least try to) what I was thinking and feeling one of the last times we were a family of 4.

Also

I just had to do the whole, “Don’t ‘mom’ me” thing. Wow. I think that was one of those things I swore I’d never say to my kids. I also used to tell myself I would never make them do any chores, but I can hear Trysten making his bed as we speak (hear, because I encourage my kids to sing and dance as they clean up).

Also, they are presently chasing each other around in their respective undies. I’m tired just looking at them. Next thing you know I’ll have the “mom” cut and jeans and people will know I’m a mom when I walk by them in the street.