How YOU Doin?

Well apparently not that well.

Rough couple days.

Turned to cookie dough (ice cream) for the first time, if that tells you anything.

4+ months ago we saw their faces.

2+ months ago we found out they were going to be ours.

This whole thing is complicated because I have such a great life here. A redonkulessly amazing husband, some freakishly amazing kids, pretty terrific dogs, living on 250 acres of wooded property.

So please know from here on out when/if I complain about the wait, I know it will and should fall on deaf ears. With that said this here is a real portrait of waiting for an international adoption…

Our boys have been in the orphanage for a year and a half. A year and a half! Ugh, that’s too long. One day in an orphanage is too long.

I’ve heard from a few families who have traveled and met our boys. T, they say, cries when his friends leave and asks when he’s going next. He is apparently one of the oldest ones there and they are lacking in older child toys.

B, they say, snuggles on laps and gives kisses freely. Anyone who has studied kids in institutionalized care knows they often do this to try to win people over so they can come home with them. You can bet if I were in an orphanage for a year and a half I’d be snuggling up and kissing on whoever looked most likely to take me home with them. My baby B is clearly wanting us as much as we are wanting him.

They’re ready, I’m ready. I, selfishly, wish the courts would push through these waiting (older) children and/or children with special needs. It just so happens our boys fall into both categories (I’ll go into that later). Needless to say, it’s time.

We did hear word that we will for sure be grandfathered under the 1 trip rule, which is a tremendous blessing. Praises for that to be sure.

We’ve gone a few weeks without any word on new court dates or travel dates from our agency which always makes me nervous. What’s the hold up?

Booo, hate feeling like this. Because I have so many blessings to lean on it feels so selfish to want more. It really, really does. So be it, I’m being flippin selfish right now. I want my boys.

And you know how I mentioned I’m a “do-er”? This is what I do when I want my boys.

Set up Dailah and B’s room (needs a little boy touch, I admit).

Set up Tariku and T’s room. Color picked out by Tariku, he thought his older brother T would love it.

And perhaps most ridiculous…I do B’s laundry (what?!?!?!?!) Yes, I wash size 3t clothes in preparation for his homecoming (most likely at least 3 months away). So clearly, that makes sense.

Zach and I have labeled all my various “personalities”. There is regular Tesi, pretty laid back, pretty good humored, slightly silly. There is pregnant Tesi, not laid back at all, swollen, mostly miserable, enjoys eating entire Tombstones. Then there is adoption Tesi who worries about the smallest of things, convinces herself that people are out to get her and somehow manages to get riled up at the smallest of things.

Safe to say Zach and I want regular Tesi back. I think she’ll be back tomorrow, but for today adoption Tesi has got a tight grip on the place.

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8 thoughts on “How YOU Doin?

  1. Okay, first of all, you have every right to feel the way you feel. You said you're being selfish – I say you're being a mother! You're worried about your babies and you want them home. I'm praying that they come home soon and get to feel your unconditional love and the security of a forever family. Hang in there!

  2. My original thought was to tell you to hang in there Mama, but I have NO idea really what u r going through. So I feel I don't have the right. So I just want to say LOVE YOU, no matter which Tesi you are!

  3. I think if adoption Tesi and Adoption Chrissy ever got in the same room the entire universe would implode. RIGHT. There. With. You.Only 6 more business hours in Oregon…I may lose my mind around 6pm tonight.

  4. Oh darlin….you eat that cookie dough and wash it down with some good wine. Then go back and get some more. Regular Tesi will be sure that adoption Tesi keeps working out at the Y so that adoption tesi's butt doesn't start to resemble a bucket of cookie dough. Waiting sucks, waiting is wonderful, waiting makes you crazy, waiting makes you humble. I have my fingers crossed and will do a little "Tesi needs some news" dancing for you.Love ya, Erica

  5. I love everything about this post though I wish I could blame my immense overeating of sweets on stress (seriously ate five peanut butter cookies yesterday than scolded Jared for eating one because they are really supposed to be for the neighbors). Love that you have put the rooms together (doing that soon) and love that you are already doing the laundry (did hang up some clothes in Thomas' closet last weekend- little tiny dresses oh my). Thinking I was not getting antsy about court on Monday until I saw that people are actually passing court. Deep breaths and maybe some chocolate. Have a good weekend. Love to you.

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