oofta

Today was an “oofta” kind of day.

My alarm didn’t go off in the morning. When I woke up (after the bus was long gone) I checked and rechecked the super cheap thing and it was fine. Anywhooo, got the big boys to school about a half hour late.

I noticed everyone was just really tired after the long weekend with the grandparents. This presents itself in different ways with each kid but it certainly starts to feel a bit like the surround sound is on and the music is tuned to channel “drive me freaking bananas”.

Didn’t help that I’ve had a headache for about a week. (It’s not a tum-a…Kindergarten Cop shout out! Hay-o!)

So the kids got home and were all up in my business in a way they usually aren’t. On a different day, on a better day, I would’ve understood they all needed a little break. A break where I went into each room for a little one on one time. Instead I set out a snack for them and went to do motherly things (you know, things like laundry, feeding the dogs, Facebook checking).

I get a call from Zach asking if I’ll bring the kids and meet him at our friends’s house.

So I head to the kitchen to fill up my water bottle.

And stumble upon quite the disaster area. Chairs everywhere, popcorn everywhere, etc, etc.

I have issues with cleanliness. I know this. I’m working on it.

But I called for the kids and -let’s just be honest- yelled at them. Discussed how disrespectful it was, how it wasn’t responsible, etc etc.

I’ve tried to be honest with my kids about my feelings. I want them to know feelings are normal. That anger is sometimes just a mask.

So I told them that they hurt my feelings. That sometimes when they don’t clean up, it feels to me that it’s because they think my main “job” is to clean up after them. I told them that I hate being upset with them. I love playing with them, I love cuddling them. But I don’t know how else to react when I come and find something like this.

And then it happened. Dailah started crying. And then Trysten. Tomas began wailing, Tariku started sniffling and Bini lost his crap.

I asked why they were crying, “We just love you so much, mom, we’re so sorry.” Mmmk then I started crying.

I got in there and asked for a group hug. I told them I forgave them for the mess and asked them to forgive me for my ridiculous outburst.

Then we got in a huddle and did a little “team” chant.

Sometimes I forget that. Sometimes I forget that we’re a team and that sometimes there will be team members not pulling their own weight.

Most of the time I forget that team member is usually me.

The most brilliant part about morning is that I get to start again.

Tonight I’m just so, so thankful for that.

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