Friends

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Tonight

Baby girl A ended up arriving on Thursday. She is beyond adorable and we are quickly falling in love with her. Though I’ve called my brother and sister-in-law no fewer than 10 times in the last few days with questions like, “Do 18-month-olds eat with regular silverware or do they need those baby spoons?” And, “What kind of carseat will I be needing?” I am nothing if not a lifetime learner so it’s been fun to regain some of this knowledge I once had but tucked away. No idea how long A will be with us but we’ll be thankful for the moments-good and bad-and go from there.

Yesterday my brother graduated from Palmer School of Chiropractic. For anyone who doesn’t know Marcus, he is pretty quiet guy. Thus, my whole family was surprised (only because he never said anything) that he had in fact graduated Magna Cum Laude. If you’re in the Altoona, Iowa area he’ll be setting up Dawson Chiropractic inside of the Altoona Family Chiropractic office on 8th St (by Fireside) soon! Of course I got all big sisterly the last couple of days because I am just so proud of the man he is, the husband and daddy and of the chiropractor he’ll be. Love you Dr. Dawson!

My siblings (and niece, of course, she can’t get far from her aunties when we’re around).

Zach was chosen as the Young Leader of the Community. We went to the ceremony last night where they mentioned they had the most amount of nominations they’ve ever had. What I loved the most was the ways they talked about him actually changing the community in which we live. Though he has taken Camp Abe Lincoln from operating in the red to operating in the black, he has done so much more. I have always shouted his praises from this particular blog rooftop but I was so thankful the rest of the community is catching on.

There was a caricature artist at the ceremony last night. We had to bring baby A with us, as she can’t be babysat by my parents like the rest of my kids (only certified foster/adopt/respite people are allowed to baby sit kids in the foster care system) so she got in on the action too.

My parents and grandparents made the trip to Davenport to celebrate Marcus’s graduation, as well as Lindsey’s (Marcus’s wife) parents. Some of my favorite moments this week were spent these last few days talking to all of those people. I am very blessed to have such a great family. And particularly blessed by my niece Adley Sue who looks up to Trysten like no other. They were so cute last night.

And tonight Trysten has his birthday sleepover with a few friends and 2 of my nephews. He is so excited and I am admittedly excited too. I’m grateful he has learned to make great choices in the friend department, so it’s always a pleasure to see Trysten in that element. Also, time with my nephews? Can’t get enough. But first, a little ice cream to start off his festivities today.

Happy weekend to you!

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Haiti…Part 2-Eshet Chayil

Thursday I wrote a bit about what I initially saw in Haiti. Today my focus is on some of my thoughts since being home.

On the way home from Haiti I read Rachel Held Evans’s book, A Year of Biblical Womanhood. Though the book was slow to start for me it rebounded well and I really enjoyed it overall. Anyway, one of my favorite parts was when Evans was discussing the Proverbs 31 woman. I don’t want to go into the whole thing here but in the end Evans says the Proverb is actually a love poem (modern day Christians often interpret this passage prescriptively which, Evans claims, is not at all how it was originally written) if you will, to an Eshet Chayil which loosely translates as “Woman of Valor”.

That phrase “Eshet Chayil” stayed with me. A few weeks of introspection proves that phrase spoke to me because Eshet Chayil was all around me in Haiti.

Indeed, UNICEF reports that the ripple effects of empowering women can change the future of society. It raises economic productivity, reduces infant mortality, contributes to overall improved health and nutrition, and increases the chances of education for the next generation. –A Year of Biblical Womanhood

Marie was the first stove vendor we met at the large market in the heart of Port au Prince. She was the top seller for The Adventure Project (TAP). Marie pushes out somewhere close to 80 stoves a week! Marie learned about TAP because one of her friends was a vendor but “didn’t take advantage of the opportunity”. So Marie asked if she could try, and try she did! Marie is a mom to four. She now makes enough money to provide transportation to a job for her older two children. Marie’s younger two children can now go to school. Marie is the very essence of an entrepenuer. When asked if there was anything she wanted to tell us she went on for minutes. Ideas about ways in which to grow her business, to provide for the citizens of rural Haiti as well. We never had to ask Marie to smile, the woman was on fire. All of the intelligence, dignity and strength she possessed before was only enhanced by her opportunity with TAP. Marie is a Woman of Valor! Eshet Chayil!

Mylande was another vendor we visited just outside the city. When those of us from TAP first arrived at the meeting place there was a group of men meeting inside the building. There was much talking between them. When Mylande arrived it was quiet. She approached us with shoulders back and a soft smile. Mylande is a young woman who lives with five people in her home (mom, dad, aunts, uncles, etc). She is now able to provide for all of them with the income she receives as a stove vendor. Also? She is able to buy a few nice things for herself. Because she is not unlike so many of us, she was very proud of that. I can’t blame her. Mylande, Eshet Chayil!

Nicole is the second best seller of stoves. When we arrived at her house there was somewhere around 10-15 family members there. I’m not sure if they all lived there but it was clear they were all enjoying lunch at her house. While talking with Nicole a group of 5 children came home from school. Their uniforms were clean and bright. I was struck by the realization that all of this came from one opportunity. But of course that one opportunity didn’t make all of this happen, Nicole made all of that happen. Because she works her butt off. That potential was just sitting in wait, she took the opportunity and ran with it. Providing food for her family and schooling for her child and the children of her community. Nicole, Eshet Chayil! (Note: Nicole didn’t want her picture taken so you get a picture of me asking the Director of TAP’s partner, ILF, a question. I asked lots of questions. This is actually what I looked like most of the trip: sweaty and annoyingly inquisitive).

There were more stove vendors, of course. All with similar stories, all women of valor. There was even a man! Another group visited him and came back with his incredible story. But it wasn’t just the stove vendors that were women of valor on that trip.

There was Erica who was a fund developer for another charity I support 😉 Erica who goes to India on yoga/spiritual retreats. Erica who quit that really amazing job to lend her support to TAP for free. Erica who was the only other vegetarian on the trip and often had to “share” a meal with me (I ate most of it). Erica-Eshet Chayil!

Sarah who also volunteers as TAP’s numbers genius. Sarah who started one of Texas’s biggest and most successful real estate companies. Sarah who clearly takes on life with an amazing smile-all the beautiful and terrible. She is Eshet Chayil!

Megan who is a busy mama to five. This craft maven of an uber popular blog took her passion (crafting) and turned it into a thriving business. She hosts craft weekends that have a long waiting list just to attend. I got to room with Megan and I can tell you her heart is good and it’s pure. Her love for all things God loves is true. Megan-Eshet Chayil! (There are no pictures of beautiful Megan because she happens to be an amazing photographer and took beautiful pictures. This is all I have, from the last day when we dressed in the same colors.)

Rebecca is a big shot marketing director in New York. But meeting Rebecca you get a sense that marketing is just her day job. Rebecca travels the world learning about new cultures and new communities. She falls in love with them all. Rebecca so obviously understands so little separates us all. Rebecca owns all that she is and it is a sight to behold. Rebecca, so clearly is an Eshet Chayil!

Rebekah is the southern belle I always pictured myself being. She is sweet and smart, funny and strong. Rebekah had all the women and men we met in Haiti eating out of the palm of her hand. Her charm came from a place of strength and a complete awareness of self. Though Rebekah is a successful businesswoman, when I left her the only way I could think to define her was Eshet Chayil!

Christine and Raphaella were the Directors of the partner that TAP works with in Haiti. Christine is half haitian, half french canadian. Hearing her extensive knowledge of Haitian history and her passion for renewing Haiti to it’s former glory was absolutely inspiring. Christine-Eshet Chayil! Raphaella, a beautiful Italian woman who had just completed her PhD in International Aid. A woman in her 40s, when she told me her life’s story it was a story about constant re-creation of self. When Raphaella realized what she was doing with her life wasn’t what fulfilled her anymore, she tried something new. Raphaella was an ever evolving woman who, throughout her life, was clearly the essence of Eshet Chayil!

Jody and Becky, the co-founders of The Adventure Project. They are what started it all. For me, for the stove vendors, for the women on the trip with me- it’s all because of them. One meeting many years ago in the back of a van in Uganda led these women to start a non profit that is quickly becoming the model for other non profits. Becky, a woman who is educated in International Aid but whose heart has been there long before. Becky who has a sense for the need and exactly how to provide it so that it doesn’t look like she was involved at all. Becky who knows exactly what she wants for TAP and has poured years of blood, sweat and tears into making it happen. Becky who will stop at nothing to add venture to the countries who need it most. Becky-Eshet Chayil! And Jody, a friend of mine for whom I’ve been thankful as long as I can remember. Jody, who knows instinctively how to rally those of us at our homes, taking care of our kids or in offices working away at cubicles. Jody who relates so well to the women in America who want to change the lives of the women around the world. Jody, who really knows how to bring heaven down to earth in so. many. ways. Jody-Eshet Chayil!

This blog was wordy, I know that. But I think it had to be. Because I want so badly for you to get a glimpse of what I saw in Haiti. I want you to see that it was a story I could’ve told about women here in the States as well. So little separates us. I love knowing that my money is providing opportunities for women there to change the face of their families, their communities and their nation. I. love. that.

I knew somewhere deep in my bones that a revolution was afoot, that the women of this earth were rising up, and that, in some way, great or small, I was going to be a part of it. –A year of Biblical Womanhood

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Is anybody alive out there?

can anyone hear me?

10 points to who knows what movie that’s from.

Anyway, hello again. It’s me. I feel a little bit like I should reintroduce myself to you all.

In a lot of ways the last months away from the blog (and really a lot of social media in general) has been kind of liberating. I have noticed a difference in the amount of time I’m present with the family when I don’t have internet access at home. It was really nice.

That said, I still don’t have internet and now that the kids are at school during the day it’d be super if we had it. 🙂

Now I’m trying to figure out if it’s best to just start from today or try to tell you all that’s been going on since last we spoke. How about a few pictures from this summer to tide you over?

We got to go to the Mehaber!!! Though we’d been before it had been 4 years so we were due. And there were just too many people going that I wanted to see for me to come up with any valid excuses.

Amanda was so generous in letting my entire family (sans Zach, who can never make it what with a camp full of kids and all) move in.

If there is a girl around, Dailah will hone in on her and stalk her like prey. Sometimes I feel so sad for her that she has no one to make bracelets with. Samry was AMAZING at playing with Dailah and doing whatever she wanted.

We got to stop at Amanda’s parents’ house that happens to be beautiful and lakeside. The kids were in hog heaven there.

Love “catching” them when they aren’t posing.

This was their faces watching Ethiopian musicians perform. Hilarious.

We ate delicious, delicious Ethiopian food! My kids were so incredibly happy.

We got to see people we traveled with too! Agiro and Twedros treated Tariku like their little brother in Ethiopia. It was so fun to see them all together again.

We also learned how to make injera (plug: you NEED that book! It’s essential if you want any hope of successfully making injera. This amazing lady taught me that. I bet you can find out how to order the book there too? But look at Dailah’s injera! It’s in the shape of an Africa! Amazing!

Speaking of her, there she is in the green. And Cathy. I’ve mentioned Cathy before. I’ll mention her later too. Of course I go to the Mehaber to keep the kids in touch with their Ethiopian roots but seeing some of my favorite people is a really big motivator as well. I got to meet Kim too (no idea how no picture was taken, alas…). She is doing a ridiculously great job with those boys of hers. We needed more time!

It was hot. So. so. so. hot.

Those of you in the adoption world would be so jealous of the people I got to travel with when we picked up Tariku. We traveled with these guys too. This family is really just too beautiful.

My Bean

There was a station where women would write your names in Amharic. Fun.

Cathy was able to come over to Amanda’s afterwards and bring her kids. We are soul sisters. Sometimes I feel like that’s all that needs to be said. Also, she should move to the midwest, that should also be said.

When I went to Cathy’s in Colorado I couldn’t get over how much her oldest reminded me of my oldest. Some of my favorite moments in Colorado were when I was talking to Carver about life because I could imagine having the same conversations with Trysten in a few years. They met and, well, Trysten is still talking about him.

Amanda. She took on 5 kids and this hair. Come on, she’s amazing.

We stayed up way too late every night. I think this picture of Dailah was at about 10:00pm. She was delirious and hungry.

The crew. Tariku and Teshome (right next to Tariku) were besties in Ethiopia. Every time I think of their relationship I get tears in my eyes. It is a priceless, priceless thing for him.

This was everyone (but me) for almost the entire 6 hours home. We were exhausted.

This is my favorite picture I’ve taken of my favorite people I took all summer (maybe thus far all year?)

The big 3 went to resident camp again this year. Trysten was in his own cabin away from his brothers for the first time. I can’t tell you how good it was for him to just be Trysten and not be the oldest brother. But ugh, it was rough on me this year.

And these two? Had so much fun. Tariku still struggled with re-entry (more on that later) but otherwise they just can’t wait until next summer.

Their counselors…Nacho, you’ve heard me talk about him (far right) is the best at what he does, there really is no comparison. And this year they got Optimus too who was just as attentive and wonderful.

Trysten was with 2 British guys, which is exactly where a Harry Potter-lovin’ guy like himself wants to be (he’s just like his mom, amiright?) But seriously, they were everything I could want in counselors for my boy.

 Those were the pictures I had ready on my computer. Nevermind that they are a few months old.

But I figured out a way to blog more so you’ll hear more from me. I promise. Off to read the blogs I’ve missed since my absence. Love and hugs.

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y’all

life is good.

My sister said to me the other day, “So…you just gonna blog once a month now or what?”

It’s never my intention, obviously, I love this little space. Where I get to write about whatever I want and connect in whatever small way I do with all of you.

But life has been good. It’s been busy. Not in the way that we’re 400 places in a day or constantly on the move but in the, “I haven’t taken a hike and caught helpless frogs for a couple hours, let’s go do that” kind of way.

Which is definitely my favorite kind of way to be “busy”.

The 3 bigs are currently playing Monopoly, Dailah and Bean are playing Barbies and cars respectively and I’m watching with a quiet grin. Thinking about how much I wanted to share all this with someone, with you.

I was thinking today on the way back home from Des Moines about all of the growth people see in their lifetime. I was comparing myself 10 years ago, 5 years ago, even 2 years ago to myself now and I couldn’t believe how different I am now. I remembered how I thought I knew everything then, that I had it figured out and how now I feel like I’m barely scratching the surface of all I want to know. I have days where I don’t want to go to bed because I want to stay up learning, and living and loving. Are there enough moments in the day for all of that? Sometimes it feels like there most definitely aren’t.

I was thinking about how I have some amazing friends in my life. I used to be one who just wanted the most amount of friends. Not so I could look around and say, “Wow, look at how awesome I am with all of these friends” but rather so that I could tell each one a little something but never have just 1 that knew everything about me. It felt safer that way. But I do now. I have friends who know everything about me and holy sh*t they still love me, that’s a pretty amazing. I’m sure you all figured this out before me, but life is much fuller when you have these kinds of relationships.

Of all my sweet babies Tariku still struggles the most. More on this later but I think constantly about him and how much I wish things were different for him. That I wish brokenness and poverty and suffering weren’t part of the picture for anyone in the world.

I’m reading a book called, “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, How we can learn to fulfill our potential”. Long title, interesting read so far. Now, I don’t care much about “success” or not the general definition we Americans usually refer to it by but this book interests me a lot because it talks about a fixed mindset compared to a growth mindset. It’s got me thinking about what we tell ourselves. The lies and truths about who we are, who we think we are and who we talk ourselves into being. We start young, if my kids are any indication, and various people throughout our lives can affect the way we see all of that. It’s made me even more aware of the power of words, how a subtle difference between “wow, you’re really good at that!” or “my goodness, you worked really hard at that!” can change the way we view success. Good stuff. Still have some unpacking to do with that.

My hair: have some really good thoughts on my hair. It’s all feminist rant right now so I’ll save that for when I have a slightly clearer head. 😉

Next weekend we are Mehaber bound. Very excited to see some good friends and sad to hear some aren’t able to make it. Let me know if you’ll be there and we’ll figure out a way to meet!

Exciting news coming. More on that later too. 🙂

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My (early) birthday weekend

My birthday is in June. Every year just before my birthday Zach’s schedule starts getting crazy. Pulling 15 hour days and such. So we never really get to do anything big for it because Zach typically can’t leave camp and then there’s that detail about having 5 kids home from school for the summer.

So this year my birthday is a bigger one (30, woot!) and Zach was determined to do it right. He asked what I wanted and I basically wanted 2 things: 1) friends/family around me hanging out and 2) not to plan a damn thing.

My really ridiculously wonderful husband decided on Galena, Illinois. He sent out an email to some friends and family asking who could get a babysitter for the weekend to come hang with us. Zach rented a 5 bedroom home for Friday and Saturday nights. It boasted things like a bar, hot tub and couches made for cuddling. Oh, and a full kitchen because I expected my guests to bring their favorite dishes (I know, I’m kind of high maintenance at 30, as it turns out).

If I learned one thing this weekend it’s this: I am so very blessed. I cried many times and they were happy tears, grateful tears, bless-ed tears. I am a lucky lady.

There was dining at delicious Italian restaurants where they sat us in what appeared to be a wine cellar which, if you’ve been following this blog long enough, knows that is both the best and worst ideas for a lady like me. Yum.

There was Saturday morning golfing for the men and shopping for the women.

There were mixed drinks made (this one would be white sangria by my beloved bestie, Chrissy. Doesn’t it look delicious?) and overflowing hot tubs.

I enjoyed taking pictures (per usual). This one for my sister and her boyfriend…lest they need some pictures for their wedding album one day. Cough. Please God. Cough.

And this one for my brother and sister-in-law who will be celebrating 2 years of wedded bliss in a few weeks.

There was cooking (my favorite guacamole of all time by Mr. Bruce himself).

There was snuggling with the ladies who make up my Red Tent. This picture makes me cry. Damn I love those ladies so much. (Missing Chrissy 😦 ).

There were back rubs

And gorgeous views as we sipped our coffees and/or wine.

There was bonding of brothers

and fires built.

There was a protective sister asking sister’s boyfriend what his intentions are and then trying to make him understand how thankful we are that he’s made our sister so happy. Yes, there was lots of that.

There was some pretending that Ashley “Hot Pocket” was a Berger kid.

And also some begging that the smallest woman would sit on my lap to make me feel like a giant on my birthday weekend.

There was dancing, of course there was. (With a cup of “8:30 Perker” also known as coffee, Bailey’s and raspberry vodka. Pin it people, you’re welcome).

There were gifts from Chrissy. Mine is the palest dead looking arm the orange one that says, “Plant Peace”. I love it.

There was lots of sibling bonding. My first tears of the weekend came Friday morning when I sent off a simple text of “Woooooot” to those coming Friday night. My brother, who is typically short on words, replied, “Oh ya”. My sister, also short on words, “woot”. They were my first best friends. They are still a few of the biggest blessings of my life. I am so, so thankful for the beautiful relationships I now enjoy with both of them (and their significant others). We may all be very different but I would die for these people, I really would

Sibling bonding covered my brother-in-law too (obviously). He is just plain awesomesauce. Particularly when he’s laying in the grass commenting on the beauty of the stars or the song of the birds. Also when he…

makes weird faces in pictures. My brother made me a cake. It didn’t matter if it was from a box, my little brother made me a cake. I ate the shit out of that boxed cake and could definitely feel the love there.

There were some hangovers (as there usually is when celebrating one’s 30th birthday) and subsequent wearing-of-women’s-glasses by a typically reserved man.

And perhaps most of all there was a woman, who is about to turn 30, thankful for a man who loves her enough to set up spreadsheets and send them to her friends. Who organized the weekend of a lifetime. There was a woman who looked at her husband and knew that the last 10 years with him have been the best of her life but the next 70 are sure to be even better.

There was love. There was laughter. There were memories created and hugs shared. There was bliss.