I promised myself no complaining (on the blog, of course) for Trysten’s birthday. I held up my end of the deal but my other personality, I like to call her “Sassy, Tesi” is baack and she is frustrated!!!

16 weeks since our referral. 16 weeks since we’ve held his picture in our hands and pictured him doing things our kids were doing. 16 weeks since we bought things picturing him using them. When we accepted the referral they told us 12-16 weeks until travel. Well now it’s looking more like 16-20 if we’re lucky. I know what you all are thinking…16 weeks, really? (Especially Jody, who not only heard an Ethiopian say his adoptive mother waited 12 years, but is settling in for a possibly long wait herself) But this is our story and like everything else, when it’s you who’s going through it, it’s infinitely more difficult than the cat next to you. Zach finally admitted that he’s now officialy struggling with the wait. Welcome Aboard the Sassy train, Zach, it’s about flippin time.

I started making lists last night. I think I’m already up to 6 and I thought of one more today. Sassy Tesi likes list making too, bless her heart. I really fear for the good folks at CHS if we don’t get a travel date soon. Sassy Tesi almost called today to tell them I’m heading to Ethiopia this Thursday whether they’re ready for me or not. Sassy Tesi doesn’t seem like the negotiating type.

A lady at the Y today had the audacity to tell Sassy Tesi that every day that passes is one closer to bringing him home. Sassy Tesi (ST) almost said, “You’re one of those glass full kind of people aren’t you? Well try adoption, you will quickly go to a half empty type person during the wait.” But I was able to grab hold of ST in time to not offend someone who takes my classes regularly.

Whew! I feel better! One whole day of not talking about it has really gotten to me! On a lighter note, I tried to make Trysten the ambassador of his birthday yesterday. We went to Subway for lunch then to ice cream. We had pancakes for dinner and I made a deal with myself not to tell him “no” at all. I was proud that I got ever so close to that goal and right before bed he said, “Mommy, let’s pretend it’s my birthday every day!” That is as good as gold, my friends.

So I’m really going out on a limb here and showing this picture of Tman in utero but I feel comfortable not knowing which faces are looking at it, somehow. 🙂 Either way, I was young, and loved 3 cans of Ravioli for lunch and a Tombstone pizza for dinner. Forgive me.

So today is definitely weird. Since I am presently in the “expecting” stage (with Tariku) I remember very clearly what I was thinking this morning 5 years ago. Zach and I were getting our bags packed to head to the hospital. The night before I had called our doctor and told her I was done being pregnant and it was time to pull this thing out of me. She obliged. Be there at 8am tomorrow, she told us. So we were. We were just a couple of 20-year-olds in love with each other and with this baby we had yet to see. When Trysten was descending, our doctor said, “He has long eyelashes!” I was so excited to hear that! When he came out (after 3 hours of pushing, mind you) I could not believe how much I loved him immediately. I really wasn’t expecting that.

The last 5 years have been nothing short of amazing. He keeps pleasantly surprising me on a daily basis. He is my emoter, he is my sympathetic one, he is my caretaker of the young. He loves taking care of his sister, his cousins and anyone else who will let him. He is so very smart, remembers the littlest of details and loves making people laugh. He loves any play toy that fights but his personality is definitely more that of a lover than a fighter. I don’t plan on projecting any high aspirations for my children (President, CEO, etc) but I do believe this kid will make an indelible mark on whatever he does. He affects everyone he meets in such a positive way I just can’t imagine how that won’t continue throughout the rest of his life, quite naturally really.

I think it’s safe to say that we’ve kind of grown up together. Though Zach and I were young when we had him, parenthood kind of just came to us and we’ve been enjoying it since. Yesterday at church we sang, “Blessed be the Name” and I couldn’t help but think how every night when I’m remembering what to thank God for, one of the first things I think of is Trysten. My amazing, beautiful, terrific firstborn. Thank you, Tman for 5 great years!

The pics are from utero to five!

We had Trysten’s birthday party today, though tomorrow is his real birthday. It was a lot of fun and secretly emotional for this mommy. Especially when I look at pictures. His face is slowly becoming more little man-like and less baby-faced. Enjoy these pics, tomorrow I will probably get a bit nostalgic AND I promise some nasty VERY pregnant Tesi pictures. Yikes!

We had a great “Celebration” last night. It was so much fun to have our friends and family come out to sample Ethiopian food and wonderful cookies and cheesecakes. Leslie and Jody did a terrific job at organizing, entertaining and socializing…it cemented the fact that I love to SEE the support of our adoption sometimes. If last night was any indication, Tariku is going to be welcomed into a lot of love and A LOT of people who enjoy Ethiopian food as much as he does! As soon as I get pics, I’ll show you.

We got some great gifts and donations and those are always so humbling to get. I’ll show a picture of two of the pieces of jewelry I got but you must promise not to get jealous. 🙂

Today I’m off to book club and run some errands for my eldest’s 5th birthday party tomorrow (5, yikes!)

Just wanted to celebrate life, love and happiness in this short blog!

Well…it’s Friday. Dailah is feeling much better after her fever broke, so that is a huge relief!

I wish someone could slap me right now. I got on our forum (slap) and just noticed someone else got a March 13th travel date. On that thread another person (slap for noticing) mentioned that her representative told her there were 9 other families going that week too. Since no one has talked to us about going that week, (unless they read my blog and then the answer is “yes”) one can assume we are not included in that 9 family count (slap, slap). This flippin’ blows..pardon my language.

It’s all about expectations, and total misconstrued perception of time on my part. I expected to go earlier. That’s heart break #1. When I look at the calender and see March 20th or 27th (two other possible dates should our paperwork hustle up) I see that it’s still ONLY a month away. My head tells me, “Tesi, a month is not long, a month is hardly enough time to get everything in order, a month is perfect.” But my heart, well that says, “You’re getting ripped off, your son is over there, two days is too long.” Those people that know me know my heart has ruled my head for quite some time now so I guess that’s what has caused me to blog like I have for the last year.

BUT, this morning when I woke up at 4am to give Dailah some Tyelenol I couldn’t fall back asleep. So I sat in our rocking chair looking at the moon (this is serious, I’m not writing a personal ad here for how cool and introspective I am) I realized just how flippin blessed I am. I looked at Zach, he was taking up the whole bed but whatever, and just smiled thinking about the fact that I would get to talk to him in just a few hours and share another day with him. I thought about Trysten and Dailah and looked forward to Trysten snuggling when he woke up and Dailah calling “mommy”. I, of course, thougth about Tariku. I thought about his Ethiopian family and I was sending them thoughts that I would do everything in my power to raise him to be a man they would be proud of. How lucky I am that God chose us to parent this child.

I also thought about my other family members, my sister-in-law, Leslie and my friend, Jody. They are throwing Zach and I a “celebration” (it’s really a shower but Zach hates that word) for Tariku tonight complete with Tariku’s favorite food and my favorite African wines. The support they’ve shown throughout this journey, the ears they listened with, the shoulders they held out for support, the arms they hugged with. I truly am a blessed girl.

So if I HAVE to wait another month, I guess I’ll be waiting that month in good company. Better company than a girl like me, who likes to complain about things a bit too much once in awhile, deserves.

Dailah woke up every hour or so last night. Time for the doctor. She has a double ear infection, tonsilitis and infected adnoids. What the February?

And seriously…we went to the McDonalds playland while waiting for the doctor’s appointment (I know, I know, bad mommy) and I was sooooo close to calling Super Nanny on some of those parents. Yikes! One kid close fist punched Trysten and the parent had the audacity to say, “He’s younger than you.” I had to “kindly” tell the mother that in fact, the kid was older than Trysten (truth be told I almost punched her in the ovaries and told her I was younger than her, but thought the cops would not find that nearly as funny as I would). Nice try. What the February?

Sunday night’s “Brother’s and Sisters” had a funny moment when Sally Fields is telling Callista Flockhart that now that she’s a mom, she’s just got to suck it up. Even if you’re sick, even if you feel like sleeping all day. You just have to suck it up. It’s funny, I don’t even remember a time when I could just lay around and sleep off my various infections. I’ve had an ear infection for the better part of two weeks. Instead of sucking it up, I’m passing it on. Nice work, TL.

Do you smell it? You should. It’s called “paint” and it smells like that because our upstairs is painted. It’s starting to come together. I feel REALLY happy about that, and I’m sure it is only partially because the fumes are leaking throughout the house in large doses.

My favorite thing Trysten says recently, “What the February?” (This is what Ellen Degeneres says on her show and it’s said like, “What the heck?”)

I’m okay, really, I am.

Saturday I spent some time with my camera on manual trying to capture Dailah’s many facial expressions. My daughter is one beautiful little girl.

I am not stable enough for this. We got word that our USCIS approval got to CHSFS today. (yay!) Another ET coordinator faxed it to Ethiopia so that they know what to look for when it comes. They are working on our behalf but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m just not stable.

There have been many travel dates for March 6, one for the 13th and one even for the 20th given out. I’ve said before that both the people we were getitng to watch the kids while we were gone were going to be gone themselves on the 20th so….

I have had enough crying. I know it won’t be all fun and games when he gets here. There will be tantrums, and hitting, punching, there will probably be moments when I want to send him back (as I did my other two children, by the way) but I’m ready for every single emotion that will come my way. I am ready and I KNOW he is ready. Why in the world isn’t everyone else ready for us?

Apparently my workout didn’t help my attitude. Maybe Buffalo Wild Wings will. FREAK!

I’ve been getting a little cocky with this whole I-600A deal. Zach has been working extra hard to bring his second son home and I was thinking we’d have it done, in the Ethiopian Embassy, by this week’s end. Ehhh, not so much. From what we hear, it is done at the Des Moines, IA office and is en route to New Hampshire, the Big Kahona of USCIS places in the great land of the US. After a dude/chick gives it the go ahead from this office, it will be sent to ET. Zach has been working on all the tricks, even asking the Des Moines lady (she was wonderful) if she would attach a picture of Tariku to pull at the heart strings a bit. It was a no go but I gave the guy a big smooch just for asking.

We were really hoping that we’d get a travel date this week, even though “theoretically” all of our paperwork is not completely in yet. Well, Zach got an email from Jan saying it could take up to TWO WEEKS!!! It didn’t sound like it was going to be a possibility to get a travel date before then. I am still praying, and praying, and praying that they give us a travel date on March 6th. This would be more than 2 weeks out and all of the paperwork would have arrived by then. Would you join in the praying with me? Or good thoughts, or wishing on stars, whatever you take as your personal credo, I ask that you join me in this!

At this point I would just kill for an update. I’ve heard nothing of him since January 1. Can you imagine? Not a word on my son for almost 2 months. I don’t even care if they can’t go into detail. Just maybe a picture and a few words like, “he lives, he thrives, and he doesn’t like being told ‘no’.” I’m not picky, I’ll take anything at this point.

Off to the Y…I get increasingly more patient after a workout.

Edited to add: I just saw someone on the forum just got a March 6th travel date. Nevermind, look for us heading to Ethiopia 2 days from never. FREAK!