How Are We Doing?

So well, so, so well.

It’s hard to believe we’ve already slipped into a rhythm as a family, but we have. Of course there are some growing pains, there are bound to be, but I’m overall impressed with the 3 originals and the 2 newbies.

Truthfully, this is the first day that I don’t feel exhausted the whole day. I’ve been struggling with jet lag/time difference worse than ever this time. At one point a few days ago, mid dinner preparation, I dozed on Trysten’s bed for about 20 minutes. I woke up and the meat was defrosted, so it worked out well I suppose. But that’s how tired I was. Feeling more like myself today, after getting at least 10 hours of sleep every night and a 2 hour nap almost every day (I am so blessed, I know this).

But to the family…Tomas is actually taking the backseat pretty seamlessly. There are times when he is super quiet, and Zach and I feel so bad for him, but he seems to shake it off pretty quickly. I know he misses his friends and caregivers but he seems to be getting used to us. The only thing we struggle with when it comes to Tomas is indiscriminate affection. Tomas still loves to give random hugs and kisses (particularly to men) and shout “I love you” to anyone who will listen. He also calls almost every woman he sees “mommy”. I just make sure I’m holding his hand when we go anywhere we might be meeting strangers and have him stay close by me. After he calls someone “mommy” I look him in the eyes and introduce that person with their name and then point at myself and say “mommy”. Does that make sense? Anyway, this seems to be helping quite a bit in just a few days.

Binyam is doing really, really well. Honestly, it seems like he’s been waiting for a family even more than Tomas was. Every nap and bedtime I put him and Dailah to bed, give them kisses and then leave. Every time he yells “Mommy-ay”. I go in and he just smiles, I give them another kiss then leave. One more time, “”mommy-ay”, go in and he smiles. That’s it, no more after that. It’s quite clear he’s just checking that I’ll come if he needs me, that I won’t leave him. And I won’t. Binyam doesn’t struggle with the indiscriminate affection, if anything he struggles with all the hugs and kisses his brothers and sister force upon him.

The other 3 are doing well, only struggling from time to time with the whole sharing bit. For the first few days they only wanted the toys the 2 boys had (even if they hadn’t touched them for months/years). It’s getting better, probably because I had little patience with that kind of behavior. 🙂 Overall, they are seriously loving the boys. They are loving learning a bit of the language, loving helping them learn how to be in our family. Just. plain. loving it.

I am so, so thankful for that.

As for Zach, poor Zach. He had to go right back to working pretty much. He had Saturday off and then has had to work quite a bit since. Zach didn’t have time to catch up on sleep, didn’t have time to dial into the family dynamics yet. He goes from chaos at camp to chaos at home and, rightfully so, is seemingly overwhelmed. I am counting down the days until August for him.

But dang he’s a good looking man, right? 🙂

Oh, and this is pretty awesome too.

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7 thoughts on “How Are We Doing?

  1. I'll bet that your sweet words about him on your blog made him feel it is worth ALL the sleeplessness he's experiencing! Keep loving him Tesi! I love you.And yeah, he is beautiful! (okay I am prejudiced–I admit it)

  2. what an incredible blessing, tesi. i know there are still rough patches to get through, but i am thrilled that the first few days are going great!!!

  3. I'm so glad the transition is going well! I've enjoyed reading your posts. About Tomas calling others mama. I noticed when we visited the Durame center, when we were holding the children, the nannies and head nurse would keep saying "mama" pointing to us. I kept thinking, they are going to be confused about what mama means! They are going to think it's any woman! I thought, if my child was older, I will have to explain what being a mom means…I'm sure he'll learn soon!

  4. Glad you are all transition is going so well. I hope you all have some great family time soon. Your expanded family picture is so beautiful!!

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