1) Someone had posted a comment earlier about wanting more info about our adoption group at church. It was anonymous, so not sure who it was. But whoever…We have started an adoption/foster care group every Sunday at 10:30 after church. It’s just a place we can go to for support, information, etc. Jody and I haven’t completely got it figured out where we want it to go but it’s been great so far! If you have any questions, definitely ask a little bit more!

2) We are officially moved in downstairs. You guys should get excited about seeing these pics. It reminds me of a college dorm. Zach commented that he’s never sat so close to the TV, I would agree. But overall, it’s exciting because tomorrow at 7:30 we should hear our door bell sing “Take me out to the ballgame” and when I open the door it shall be contractors. Yippee!

Kinda can’t get enough of American Gladiators. I just can’t help but think I could kick some tail at this thing. I think it has something to do with the self confidence instilled in me as a child (thanks mom and dad!) Is it sad that I’ve been “pressuring” Zach into getting a Gladiator rink at Camp? I think the kids would LOVE it!

It’s about this point in winter, Christmas is over, New Year’s is over, snow and visible breaths have lost their luster…this point in winter I wish I was anywhere but Iowa. This year, I’m wishing for somewhere warmer, somewhere in Africa, oh yeah, that’s right, that’s ETHIOPIA. I REALLY wish I was in Ethiopia today. I wish I was there, holding Tariku, telling him a story. Not an important story, just any story. If I’m telling him just any story that means we’ve “known” each other for a few days by now and we’ve stopped staking such importance on every word, every hug, every kiss.

I’m ready to just be Tariku’s mommy. I love being a mommy. In fact, I never knew that being a mommy would be so wonderfully fulfilling. I didn’t know any of this. Now I do, that’s why I’m 100% positive I’m ready to do it again with Tariku. Though I may not be completely ready for everything that comes with adopting a 3-year-old, I think I’m as ready as I can be. I’ve tipped my big toe in the water and I’m ready to dive in; with no limits, get the hair wet, mascara running down the face. Shoulder deep in mothering Tariku, that’s where I want to be.

17 days…17 days until the Ethiopian courts will pronounce Zach and Tesi Klipsch as mother and father of Tariku Asamu. I can’t wait to get word of that. By just as my friend, Jody, is struggling with, even when I’m pronounced his mother, I can’t actually mommy him for a few weeks after that.

We, as mommys, are used to our hearts living outside our bodies. To cry when we hear how a kid beat up our child (someone did to Trysten today), to fight the big battles, the small battles, the insignificant battles, all of that. To kiss the tears away, give big congratulatory hugs, say prayers, eat *white* snow. This is a mommy. A mommy, for all intents and purposes, cannot be a mommy on paper alone. A mommy gets knee deep in poo, throw up, mud, gross bath water. A mommy is just…there. Getting the birth certificate with Zach and my names as Tariku’s parents will be huge, there’s no doubt; but it doesn’t make me any more of a mommy to him. I have a feeling February 7th will pass, Tariku will be ours and he will be none the wiser. The 7th will look a lot like the 5th and the 6th to him. He doesn’t know he just gained another mommy and a daddy. But when I get there, when I hold him and (oy) sing to him, rock him to sleep. Then he will know I am his mommy. He may not feel for me like he did for his amaye, but he will know I am what a mommy should feel like.

All this is to say I really wish I could get past the “mother” and get straight to the “mommy” with my Tariku.

My brother (in-law) just announced his engagement to one Emily Mally. He called tonight to say, “I am engaged to be married”. I couldn’t be happier.

When he (Frank, my BIL) and I used to meet over coffee and bagels we would imagine who he would end up with. Truth be told I never pictured someone like Emily. She’s “normal” compared to the ones I had him pegged with. I love my brother, don’t get me wrong. But I always pictured someone with more armpit hair and less in common with me (at least on the surface). But when I first met Emily, and saw how she and Frank interacted, they just fit. I couldn’t be more excited about her joining our family.

As many of you know, there are few responsibilities I take more seriously and with such joy as that of a sister. I’m so excited to be expanding my sisterly brood with Emily. She will fit in better than anyone I could’ve pictured. Are you all wanting to see the announcement? To really catch the humor you have to know both Frank and Emily but you should get a healthy chuckle either way. Without further ado…my brother, Frank and (soon-to-be) sister, Emily.

The title (in case you were interested) comes from one of my cousins when he was about 5-years-old (he’s now 16, jeesch). Anyway, my other cousin and I were playing with him, having him run around, etc. He finally stops, fed up with us ordering around and states, “I’m exhaustapated”. Well, I feel like my dear cousin Wardie Paul today.

Firstly, don’t get excited about tomorrow. The contractors said they couldn’t start until Tuesday…and so it begins. Anyhow, we moved more stuff downstairs. I’m going to take some pictures so you can see how ridiculous the house looks right now. Mostly because of how much stuff we have crammed into such tight quarters. All signs point to having to move our other set of couches up to Zach’s office because it just won’t fit.

It was kind of a wake up call, if I must say. Today’s message at church was “where your stuff is, there too is your heart” in a nutshell. Well, it appears our hearts have been in stuff for quite some time the way we’ve hoarded it. When I was in the corporate world I’d constantly complain that I never had anything to wear. Today I was putting my dress clothes in bins so I could make room in Dailah’s closet for the stuff I wear on a daily basis. I filled 2 HUGE bins. I looked up at the closet and it’s literally exploding with clothes, not to mention I have 2 other HUGE bins filled with workout clothes and sweaters. Wowsa. My mind hurts, my heart hurts and my fingers hurt.

Regardless of what I’ve learned today it’s ended on a positive…we moved both kids into the same room so we could have a room to ourselves. Right now I hear them giggling themselves to sleep. Music to my exhaustapated ears.

We worked out today, Zach came to my PUMP class, he’s so supportive I could squeeze him. When we got home we all got 2 hour naps, classic and amazing. Moved some stuff from upstairs to downstairs. Then pretty much just relaxed. I can’t remember the last time I felt so relaxed. It’s been -15 degrees outside so we thought today would be a good day to be hermits. Now I’m researching what my next tattoo will be. I have an idea, but am wanting to just look at my options. I’m sure this news will be met with equal parts sadness and disappointment to my uncle Vic. 🙂

Tomorrow will be our second Sunday meeting with the adoption group at church. Jody and I are excited and surprised by the amount of people at our church who are either going through or interested in adoption/foster care. I am selfishly hoping more will see how absolutely gratifying adoption can be. Did I mention I love Tariku so much my heart hurts? What does it say about me that I want everyone in the world to feel this jumble of emotions that is adoption? I guess it all comes down to the amazingness that is motherhood. The ups and downs..wouldn’t trade it for a thing in this world.

Hubby is home, Trysten is watching cartoons (pardon us, mommy and daddy needed a little catch up time), Dailah is sleeping, the computer is back in my arms. Things are as they should be…with the obvious exception of Tariku. He is not where he should be right now and that makes me more and more sad each day.

Just a few days and the house destruction will commence. This morning one of the Camp’s staff rang our door bell, knocked on the door and 2 seconds later (I didn’t have enough time to hop off the couch and answer the door that is about 15 feet away) he just walks right in with three other guys. Did I mention I’m excited to have this place a “home” rather than just another camp building?

Nothing insightful today, just had to make a note of how I took a deep breath today, let my shoulders relax and knew it was okay. Zach is back and Tariku will be soon.

The last two days have been R-O-U-G-H for me with regards to waiting for Tariku. It doesn’t help that Zach is not with me, it doesn’t help that I looked at 3-year-old clothes and pictured his face in them. But most of all, it doesn’t help that people on the forum who received their referrals on 12/28 (ours was 11/12) have a court date of 2/5 and ours is 2/7. I realize this is 2 days. I realize when Tariku is home those minute details become moot points but they are BIG points to me today. They are BIG points to me because those 2 days could mean they sneak in a week early and pick up their kids before us. It’s hitting me today because my parents and my sister-in-law, the people who we’re hoping to watch the kids while we’re in ET are both going to be gone March 20 for at least one week. This puts us in a time crunch to get there beforehand. Oh, the hills and valleys of adoption. A hill that comes with all of this is one of my friends from the forum received a court date of 2/5 so theoretically we could travel together which would make me happier than Trysten when he farts (which he just did, so it came to mind easier, sorry Leslie). But other than that hill, it’s been all valleys the last couple of days.

Which brings me to Target. I’m not sure how they do it, but they seem to entice me whenever I’m in one of these moods. Then, when I get inside and we have our popcorn/pop combo, I find myself lingering WAY too long after completing my list. So today I came out MUCH poorer than I should have. I came out with some clothes for Dailah (of course, when there’s the cutest girls stuff for $4 I dare you to not buy it). But I also came out with 2 matching outfits for Trysten and Tariku. What the heck am I supposed to do? My baby is half a world away and I’m thinking about him constantly. So I hate Target because they make me poor, poor, poor, poor, poor but I love Target because they are going to enable me to have cute matching boys once the one comes home.

Speaking of Tariku, we finally sent his package. Woohoo! It contained a blanket we had slept with for approximately 2 months (it now smells nicely of Zach’s armpit and camp…sweeeet) a photo album with pictures of the family, Amharic descriptions (or as best as I could do, they’re similar to Chinese letters and it turns out I’m not so good at any of it) and a recorder with our voices. We recorded 10 things that went as follows.

1) Zach’s introduction (I teared up)
2) My introduction (I choked up)
3) Trysten’s introduction (I cried)
4) Dailah’s babbling (I laughed)
5) Us singing “Jesus Loves Me” (I did okay, they apparently sing this in English at the care center)
6) Zach playing “God Blessed the Broken Road” on his guitar and sang it (I cried, kind of fitting and my husband is too good to be true)
7) Me singing a song I wrote to put the kids to sleep (I cried but that was mostly during playback when I heard how ungodly my voice really is)
8) Trysten telling a story about Tariku sleeping in his room, Power Rangers, etc (I cried, of course)
9) Us praying (I teared up)
10) Can’t remember but I’m sure it made me cry.

All this to say God gave me a lot of things but He did not give me patience, or the ability to turn down good deals at Target.

I had one of the most fun last couple days with Zach. I don’t know why, but we were just really having lots of fun, being all lovey, etc. We were THAT couple that makes every other couple green with envy and I must admit it felt great. (In total honesty, we’re kinda that couple all the time, but what can you do?) Anyhow, we were talking about how we were going to miss each other this week. He says, “Hons, you are such hot property” (by the way, remember I am a feminist, so he said this in the most adoring way)”You’re like my Boardwalk, actually you’re my Boardwalk AND Park Place.” Believe me, it was precious. I’ve said before how I think he’s the funniest man in the world, so it was absolute classic Zach for him to describe his love for me in terms of the board game Monopoly. Reason #15,000,000 why I love the guy.

Today has been a productive day. We have started moving everything from upstairs to the basement because THE CONTRACTORS ARE STARTING ONE WEEK FROM TOMORROW!!!!! You read that correctly, come hell or high water, they claim they will be starting on the house. We’ve done the math and they should be done just in time for Tariku to come home.

It hit me as we were moving HEAVY stuff, it’s really happening. Not just the house, though I couldn’t be happier about that. But the fact that the house is beginning means we are on the backstretch to bringing Tariku home. I love the metaphor of the house becoming complete and our family doing so as well.

We’re heading to my parent’s house this week to hang with them a bit and pick up Tariku’s clothes from their storage. It will be a nice time seeing them!

Here’s to a wonderful last week in the house as is!!!

Lately when I look at Trysten, I see a lot of my brother. Those who have been on this blog journey with me for awhile know I have always been overprotective of my brother. When we were younger we were BFF. We would team up on my sister (sorry Kbear) and just hang out, have some fun. But I was always overprotective of him and still am, probably to a fault seeings he is 21 and perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

But lately I get those movie-style flashes when Trysten says something or makes a face, it reminds me so much of Marcus. When Marcus was 5, I was 9, so I think the ages are lining up when my memory is readily available. Perhaps that’s why for the most part I can’t get enough of this stage with Trysten, he reminds me so much of Marcus.

This picture is one of those times, it’s the smirk or something about him, can’t put my finger on it but it’s there nonetheless. Proud to be a sister to my brother and a mom to my son.