First Ickies of the Winter

Both kids are downstairs sleeping. About every 2-5 minutes I hear one or both coughing. Not the ahem, ahem cough but the deep, came from the bottom of the lungs, waded through mush and popped through the throat, kind of cough. I cringe every time I hear it and resist the overwhelming urge to go pick them both up and make it a family bed night. They are my babies and even though I cringe when I hear it, I am so very thankful I hear it.

My friend, Jody, said of her twins waiting for her in Sierra Leone that she runs around always feeling a bit like she doesn’t have all her children with her (she and her husband have 4 boys as well). It’s like when my kids go visit my parents and sister for a week in the summer. It’s fun to hang out with Zach, and we enjoy our time together but I always miss them. I never sleep quite the same, I am…unsettled. When we reunite it feels right again. I sleep well, I am no longer living on edge and I am actually relaxed. But for the last week and 3 days I have felt unsettled again. This weekend we decorated cookies and Zach made one with Tariku’s name on it. The realization that all of my kids aren’t with me and I may not relax until we are all together under one roof hit me hard when I saw the sugar coated goodness. I recognize how badly I want to know, firsthand, whether Tariku sleeps like his big brother and little sister tonight.

1 1/2 weeks down, 10 1/2-14 1/2 to go!

2 thoughts on “First Ickies of the Winter

  1. I have been there. It is so hard, and not everyone understands. Tariku is in God’s hands with the rest of us. Find peace in that. I found that spoiling my two at home in the short time as just us was wonderful. LOts of dates, lots of extra little candies, lots of cuddle time. Charish your two beauties and rest in His assurance that all is well. Hope your two sweets get well soon!

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