A year ago Zach and I knew we were going to be able to finally progress with our adoption that we’d been hoping for and praying about for more than a year and a half. Zach headed in to take a shower after we talked/dreamed about our future child(ren). Most of our discussions were about a girl. Or a girl and a boy. But certainly, a girl. A sister for Doozie and another daughter for me us.

So Zach was in the shower and I was researching the few agencies I trusted who were working in Ethiopia. Trying to figure out which ones my gut was telling me could make good on my confidence. Then I ventured over to Holt’s website knowing one of my dear friends, Beth, was using them. I just meandered on to their “Waiting Child Program” tab. I looked at some of the write ups of the waiting kids (Ethiopia won’t allow photos on the website, so we were just looking at words). Something describing Tomas caught my eye, I actually don’t remember what it was but it was a phrase that was used throughout Tariku’s Ethiopian updates as well.

For whatever reason (what’s up, God?) my heart was pounding reading about Tomas (cheerful, social, loving) and Binyam (bright smile, club feet). I thought, I’m just going to go run this by Zach, real subtle like.

“Honey, I think I just found our new kids.” Subtlety has never been a speciality of mine.

“Um…are you speaking in plural or is that just my imagination?”

“Two boys. A 5-year-old and a 3-year-old. They are waiting because of oldest’s age and youngest has club feet. They are boys.”

“Boys? Tesi, you wanted a girl, remember? You sure you are ready to give up that dream?”

“Let’s just inquire about them with Holt and we’ll go from there.”

So I ran meandered to the computer again and sent Holt an email that basically said, “I think I just found our new kids, could you send me more info on these boys?”

Holt has a great policy about waiting children where they make sure before they even give a file over that you’d be a good fit for the kids. So after answering a few questions they sent us the picture that fit with the profile on the internet.

I mean was there any doubt after that? Tomas looked(s) eerily like Tariku and Bini was already making our hearts smile.

So we had to wait until after Christmas to get more details on them but it was pretty much done as far as we were concerned.

I had no idea a year ago how happy they would make us all. Had no idea just how perfect they were for us.

And I don’t even think about that girl that wasn’t meant to be (much).

Just to pre-warn you, as soon as 2011 hits, I might stop capitalizing the blog. I’ve gotten juuuuust lazy enough to edit these posts less and less. As I’m sure you’ve noticed, my grammar check has altogether ceased to exist. Why not just stop with the caps, right?

Anyway…our last few days in pictures.

First, the hair cuts. Dailah got a few inches off (and was absolutely pampered by everyone who worked at the salon in the process).

I got my hair colored by my girl Chrissy and then trimmed at the salon (where, for whatever reason, they chose not to pamper me).  I had spent way too much time as a blonde lately.

Zach and I went to our church’s ugly sweater party. It was ugly. Zach won a Target gift card for his combination of ugly sweater and super sweet dance moves.

I didn’t have nearly enough any alcohol so was not feeling up to strutting the catwalk. But I will pose you under the table if you try to take me on.

We had family Wii night on Saturday. If it weren’t for Zach’s unending patience the game would have lasted but 2 minutes if it were up to me. Let’s just say Tomas went from not listening at all not knowing what he was doing to laying down spares left and right. The end of the night got much better for me. Especially after I saw this picture and remembered how blessed I am (ignore Dailah’s hand).

Then last night we had a little get together with our buds. Kara (my sister) and I made our very first turkey which turned out to be extremely moist (I hate that word) and delicious. I also made Oreo balls which should be considered the 8th deadly sin…or the only sin God created. But these women make my life richer, more beautiful in every.single.way. They also make my abs considerably stronger with all of the laughing.

And our men. Who let us be as crazy and ridiculous as we really are. Jason (front and center in black) is a police officer, which explains the constant sneer. Bruce (orange) is a City Planner of sorts (though truth be told his job is kind of like Chandler Bing’s, no one really knows what he does for a living) and thus is full of joy and good cheer. Zach, well he’s just a smartass, so that’s just his face. 🙂

I know a lot of you reading this also read Leslie’s blog but in case you were wondering a bit more (or just wanted to hear my sister-in-law’s magical writing) I blogged for her over at her blog. I’ll paste it below. But I miss them, I miss my nephews and I ache for my niece and for Ethiopia. So excited to have some Habesha coffee with Leslie and listen to every word she has to say about the whole thing.

It’s Saturday morning in Addis. I woke up to the call of prayer this morning at 5:30am. I got up because sleep is not easy here yet, even for me who can sleep anywhere. I sat on the porch of our complex and was surrounded by the sounds of prayer chants, church bells and barking dogs. It was a really beautiful experience.


I got a small window of computer time here, but it is limited. However, I wanted to blog about yesterday, one of the most wonderful days of my life. We met Baby Girl and spent over three hours staring at her, whispering to her and cuddling with her.


Friday morning we were told that we would actually get to see our baby twice, rather than the one time we were expecting. A driver picked us up from the guest house and drove us to the care center, which is a sprawling gorgeous building. We were led inside and right away found baby girl sitting in a group of three children. She was sitting up chewing on a purple link toy. Right away her huge brown eyes looked up at Jake and I as we cooed and cooed over her. She is absolutely beautiful. She has dark, wispy curls, huge brown eyes and Klipsch-length eye lashes. She was wearing a pink sweater and a denim jumper. A jumper! A jumper, dear readers! I have a child who wears a jumper!


She warmed up to us right away and played with the toys we brought. We tickled her and played peek-a-boo and she giggled softly. I held her and sang to her and she kicked and kicked. (A dancer!)


She is very even tempered. A really relaxed little girl. We came back in the afternoon and she really just wanted to be held. We happily obliged and quite literally spent about two hours taking turns holding her and listening to her sweet little noises as she rested on our chests. Several nannies lit up when they saw her and commented on
how lucky we were. I would have to agree!! 🙂


She has a beautiful name that I’ll reveal after we pass court. Hopefully I can post pics then too. Any doubt or insecurity that I’ve ever had about this adoption or about mothering three children washed away during those wonderful moments yesterday. What an experience!!


We’re off to a museum and to do some shopping today. Of course, nothing can compare to yesterday. (I cannot wait to see her again.) We are really enjoying our time here and falling in love all over the place!!

The roses are red today. For many reasons, I’m sure, but it’s been a good day.

— We went to get our window fixed and it ended up costing half of what we thought it would cost (hallelu).

— While it was being fixed and all of the kids were at school, Zach and I went to my sister’s house and did our household budget. Sometimes I can’t believe how lucky I am to have him. An intelligent, patient, good-at-math man who happens to look amazeballs even after I asked him what half of 65 was.

–I just realized this is the last day of school for everyone before Christmas break. That means a lot of things that make me happy, especially I get to sleep in for 2 weeks that I get to see more of the kids!

–We got an email from Jake and Leslie! Here’s a little snippet:

“So…our flights were uneventful.  Jake didn’t sleep a wink.  I slept fine.  🙂

The first thing we did when we woke up this morning was go meet Baby Girl!!  This was a bonus.  We thought we’d only meet her once and we ended up going to her care center twice and spending three and a half hours of pure bliss with her!!  SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!  And amazing.  And so so so sweet.  I can’t even tell you.  We are in love.  She loves to snuggle and we indulged her every second.  Seriously, she is more amazing and beautiful than we ever imagined.

This may be our only email.  We are in the guest house and the computer is at another complex.  We just wanted you to know that we are safe and sound and soaking in all of these new experiences.

We love you all!!!

xoxo
Leslie and Jake”


Yipppeeee! That was fun to see.


–Sarah Butler (a friend on Facebook) sent me this link with the comment, “From the things you have shared about your hubby, This makes me think he could totally do this and maybe even better. Sorry about your car, hope this makes you smile a little.” I love getting random things (that did help, thank you Sarah!) from people. 





—Yesterday the group of people who do my Bodyflow class regularly gave me a “little” Christmas gift. A 1 hour full body massage, a Starbucks gift card, a bottle of wine and some chocolates. With a card that made me cry all the way home.


I am a seriously blessed lady.

feeling a bit like I’m drowning here.

Thankfully not in adoption related stuff, or even mommy related stuff.

But in adult stuff. Like money.

November is the Wine to Water party-which stretches us pretty thin.

And, it’s Christmas, so even though we get our kids a total of 3 presents (totaling around $40/child) our budgets are tight.

And then this week my car’s “check engine” light came on. After taking it in to get looked at, they are recommending around $2000 worth of fixes.

Tonight, well tonight while I was teaching classes the back window of that same car got busted out.

Truly, most of the time I can see how rich we are in life. With all the love and the joy.

But tonight? Tonight I’m hoping we win the lottery (though we haven’t actually bought a ticket, is that a problem?).

Yes, the lottery. Or maybe we hid a few thousand in a sock somewhere?

Tomorrow will be a new day. The sun will rise and set and we’ll be covered by Grace. I’ll be happy about the love and the joy.

But tonight. It’s wine, chocolate and lottery dreams.

is kind of amazing. He just made this video for camp’s website.

It’s so true. We asked (on behalf of the kids) for Camp as a gift for them. It’s so, so important in their development. You wouldn’t believe the confidence it gives, the lasting friendships formed and the fun had. If you have a Y camp around you, consider it as a gift or, even better, send them to our Y camp. I’ll watch out for them and send you detailed reports.

One thing is for sure, you will never regret it!

They are off to Ethiopia today and I’m caught in the time suck that is nostalgia. Like this, the first time we were a family of 5.

-We started a new church a few weeks ago. We are loving it. We are hesitantly excited. It’s been a long time since we’ve been this excited about getting up on Sunday and heading into church. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Zach this excited to be getting involved in a church (maybe ever?). It’s all good. It’s all very exciting. God’s exciting.

-Dailah and I got our hair done a few days ago (pictures to come). She is super cute. Have I mentioned I love having a girl? Ok thought so.

-My sister-in-law and brother-in-law leave for Ethiopia Wednesday. I shouldn’t be this excited for them should I?

-I really, really love this. Really.

-I had super high ambitions of getting a Christmas card out this year. Not sure that’s going to happen (but I still welcome and wait with baited breath for yours!)

-I am seriously loving my family life. I can’t believe how much I love being a wife to Zach and a mom to my 3Ts, a D and a B.

That’s it. Oh, and this is me. Granted, I was working on the Wine to Water party at this very moment but I still love this picture. The essence of multi-tasking. And look at Dailah’s face. A girl taking notes. Oy! And should I mention the sweatpants? Yeah I didn’t think I should either.

“Don’t tell anyone, but sometimes I wonder if the best thing that could happen to this country is for Christ to be taken out of Christmas—for Advent to be made distinct from all the consumerism of the holidays and for the name of Christ to be invoked in the context of shocking forgiveness, radical hospitality, and logic-defying love.  The Incarnation survived the Roman Empire, not because it was common but because it was strange,  not because it was forced on people but because it captivated people. 

4 months home, that’s bananas. So this is our “check up”. For bio babes you might take the tiny humans to a doctor and get them weighed and measured, etc etc. For our adopted babes, I like to do random check ups that have little to do with their physical growth. I’m not sure it’s the healthiest thing in the world to do, but here I am…

When I was talking to Rebekah a month or so ago we were talking about this. With our bio babes we get 9 months of intense bonding. You feel the kicks, you feel the moves, etc. So they pop out and you love them (please know I’ve never dealt with PPD, so I’m only talking about my experience). We have for our bio babes, pure love. We don’t question it, we just revel in it.

With our adopted babes we don’t allow for that “pure love” (again, just my experience, it could be my particular psychosis neurotic behavior). Not at first anyway. I’m there with Tariku, but in the beginning we’re constantly questioning. A moment might come when we’re purely elated in that love high and then we turn on ourselves and ask stupid things like “Wow was that love? Was that just like? Did that feel real? What was that?”

So after we decided to adopt again I made a pact with myself to not do that as much as I did with Tariku. I made a pact to try to just save it for certain days, days like “4 months home”. The pact was going to free me up to revel in whatever I was feeling-like or love. I have to say I’ve been pretty great at it. But it’s one of those days of reflection for me and I want to have where we’re at and were we’ve been on record.

Tomas. What an amazing kid. 6-years-old. A built little boy. He was sturdy when we brought him home, but since he came home we’ve noticed his skin is darker (healthier) and his hair is darker, less brittle (healthier). Tomas is doing so well. He’s doing well in school, he’s excelling in learning English. Right now we are working through eating issues, namely, he eats 3 times what I eat. But Tomas is so good, whenever he asks for seconds (or thirds) we ask him, “Are you still hungry or does it just taste good?” Tomas takes a few minutes, assesses his situation and then answers honestly. If he tells us he’s still hungry, we’ll give him more. But more often than not it’s just that it tastes good and/or he’s eating just in case it doesn’t come again.

In the care center Tomas was head hauncho for sure. We’ve noticed lately he likes puppeteering a bit. Lately he’s enjoyed trying to decide which sibling he will play with, which sibling he won’t, sibling(s) who might be playing by themselves, etc. Homie don’t play that game, so he doesn’t get away with it much, but he certainly tries. 🙂

So far Tomas appears to be our musician. He gravitates towards the guitar and drums and gravitates away from athletic endeavors. Tomas is funny, he’s smart and he’s silly. And I love him. I really love him. On less than stellar days, I can get annoyed at all of his questions. He has lots! But most days I can put things into perspective and appreciate his inquisitive nature.

Binyam. He hasn’t changed much at all physically, actually. His skin has certainly gotten darker and healthier but his hair is about the same, as is his body. He is a teeny tiny 4-year-old who would never eat again if it were up to him but who would love to drink his body weight in water and/or milk 5 times a day. In fact, breakfast takes a mere hour to finish for him, ahem. 🙂 I’m refraining from Dr. Google but I do wonder about diabetes or something?

Binyam has not progressed as much in English formation as Tomas (and Tariku, actually). Many reasons for this but perhaps the biggest is that he has siblings who are more than happy to answer for him before he can even get the chance. Binyam is also good about batting his cute little eyelashes and asking for help rather than trying it himself. At the care center we noticed he would just have to look at a nanny and they would come running over asking what he needed and how they could help. We’re trying to give him the confidence he needs to learn both how to accomplish things on his own and how to frame what he’s feeling in English. 🙂 So that’s where he’s at-needing a bit more help than any of the others but he’s totally worth it.

Binyam is funny, so sweet, loving and kind. And I love him. With great big mama love. On less than stellar days I get upset that he still can’t remember how to put his clothes on properly or that he doesn’t notice that his coat is on upside down. But most days? Most days, I see him as my pure and true baby, worth every second of my life.

And life? Life is different with 5, it really is. In the best way possible. Truly, there are moments when I think I might even be able to manage 6 (please, someone commit me). But there are sacrifices to having a family like mine.

-I haven’t baked homemade bread in months. We used to only eat homemade bread, now I buy the store bought without all of the junk, but it’s not ideal for me.

-I used to make all of my own natural home cleaners. Nope, that hasn’t happened for awhile either. Now I just buy them (with coupons!)

-I wanted to start a garden, might happen this summer.

-I want to learn to sew (it’s getting ridiculous that I have to take Zach’s pants to his mom just to have her sew on buttons!)

-I want to make more crafts with the kids, I want to make more cookies and linger in the kitchen. I want to have more date nights with single kids. I want to do a load of laundry every day and clean every week.

There are lots of things I want to do, and look forward to doing as the kids get older. But this is the phase of our lives. I know God wants me where I’m at. At home, spending the time with the kids. So the rest of that falls to the wayside, so what?

My kids love each other, they get along wonderfully most of the time. I could write post after post about each one of their unique personalities, which is a huge blessing.

So at 4 months home, I’m so happy with where we’re at. I know our relationships will grow and evolve but right now, they are pretty darn good.