took my breath away a bit. Go here.

What a week. Really, so, so many things on my mind.

A friend, her family, on my heart and mind and in my prayers.

Another friend dealing with the surprise of her life.

And then international adoption, the “ride” of all rides.

Today we found out (from the information out there now, though this could change as more information is gathered) that the Ethiopian government is making changes, most notably that they will now require 2 trips to Ethiopia. The first will be to attend the actual court date and the second would be to come back, get the child(ren)’s visa(s) and bring them home.

So as a family that’s caught right in the middle of this, our heads are in a fog. Truly, the thought of going to Ethiopia two times in a few months is a bit exciting…if it weren’t for the added expense, the total heart destruction at meeting our newest kids and then leaving them. So on and so on ad nauseum.

We really don’t know exactly how this will affect us until Friday at the earliest. Most of you know I’m kind of a glass half-full kind of gal, and I’m finding it fairly easy to maintain that despite this rather large hiccup.

Because we’ve done this before, nothing in international adoption is predictable. We know in the end 3T and B will be here, they will be part of our lives for many decades to come.

Knowing they’ll join us at some point makes this just ever so slightly easier. That and knowing that the Ethiopian government takes ethical practices so seriously. For a country that has had various political issues, this is one thing they seem to be doing right. Heading in all the right directions. I really can’t argue with any extra steps that need to be taken to make sure the orphans are true orphans and not any form of human trafficking (if you’re anti-adoption or have any ill feelings towards international adoption, please don’t read that line as an invitation to insert your opinion, not the time or place). 🙂

So there you go, it’s Wednesday in most of the world and yet feels like Friday here.

But it was 60 degrees today, we spent most of the afternoon outside. This entire post could be a fresh air high, but I’ll run with it.

-We got an update on B on Thursday. Right now he’s almost exactly Dailah’s size, though I remember getting an update on Tariku once that told us he was bigger than he was when we actually showed up. We are trying to mentally prepare Trysten that his “little” brother 3T might, in fact, be bigger than he is. We are also trying to prepare Dailah that her “little” brother might be bigger than she is. She’s not really listening, she still talks to an imaginary B like he’s half her size and still needing his butt wiped but we’ll get there I’m sure. He is said to love falling asleep with toys in his hands, which reminds us too much of his big sister. The two of them in bunk beds are going to have a good hundred toys between them to fall asleep with. This could be bad.

-We received an email from our social worker Thursday saying she sent the homestudy to the various offices of our agency that need to okay it. This was just 3 days after our final homestudy visit, this is all new for us. Our social worker for Tariku’s adoption took months, so this really is a refreshing change. She actually told me I could stop saying “thank you” seeings this is her job and all. So hopefully this week or next we’ll have a final draft we can send to the great people at USCIS with our I-600a stuff. Also hoping the next few weeks will allow us to send in our dossier so that I can dust my shoulders off and “relax” knowing I have little else to complete while the Ethiopian and American governments decide our fate in their court systems. Good times.

–Jody and Cassie have been in Sierra Leone, Africa for the last week. I’m dying to hear every word on their trip. Jody (and her dad) updated from time to time, go check it out. Very exciting stuff.

-I finished both Half the Sky and The Help this week. You really need to read both of these, for very different reasons. I’m still digesting Half the Sky but, I’m sure, will have lots to say about it once I do.

I think that’s it from this weekend that went by too quickly. Hope your weekend was as beautiful as ours. Did I mention we ate food off the grill tonight? Praise be!

Today is 3T’s birthday, he turns 6 over in Ethiopia.

Last night I kept dreaming about him and his little brother, B. About the call when our court date is assigned, the call we’ll get when we first pass court. The call to announce our travel date. The last few days as a family of five. Then the moment we touch down in Ethiopia.

Needless to say, I hardly slept.

Today was the first day that I really wished we were over there. Wished we were there with our mother/father pride smiles on. Singing the loudest as they sing to him on his birthday. Though birthdays are not as big of a deal in Ethiopia as they are here, we were told they celebrate the kids in care. And so I picture his huge smile as they chant his name.

I whispered to Zach today in church, “Wish we were in Ethiopia right now.”

He counted on his hand, “At least 6 more months, honey.”

“Yup”, I say, “this will be a loooong 6 months for you.” 🙂

Happy Birthday, 3T. Your brothers and sister are so very excited for next year when they can sing at the top of their lungs and watch you blow out your candles!

* Edited to add: Zach said that you can’t tell these are Dailah’s clothes and that some of you might think they are mine (really?). So these are Dailah’s clothes, I love this picture because I can’t quite figure out how they came off in this particular order. She de-robed in order to most resemble Captain Underpants (or, as she calls it, Crackin Underpants). So there you go, these are not my clothes, because I know you all were concerned that I could fit into size 4T pants nowadays.

1) We got an update on 3T today (notice: I just learned we aren’t supposed to identify our kiddos in ET by name, so please don’t list their names in the comments either. 3T is the older one). Good update, new height, new weight. He’s growing and by the time we get him, will probably be as tall as our oldest. He also likes bubbles. (ahhhh)

2) Tonight we were loading into the car after going to the Y. Trysten says, “Mom, tonight I realized that I just love Tariku so much and am so happy he’s in my family. Do you know how I know? Because he got hurt and I started crying.” Tariku said he felt better after he saw Trysten loved him so much. They are a couple of heartbreakers.

Speaking of heartbreakers, Dailah got to go to another Princess and Papa dance this past Sunday. Because she just hasn’t been told she’s a princess enough, obviously.

Her aunt Kara “KK” helping curl her hair.

She’s getting old, this one.

Seriously cute.

We’re quickly becoming outnumbered.

Our family birthday party for Trysten was this morning. Yesterday my parents helped paint two more rooms in our house. I’m exhausted. So you just get pictures. Good times, good times.

Opening presents.

Birthday boy with my brother, sister and Lindsey.

His new hat, just in time.

I know, precious.

My parents and Trysten.

Taking the annual measurement.

Going to be too tall for me real soon.

Sister-in-law, Emily (who is having my nephew in a few months) with Zach and 2 of the kids.

The wonder non twins.

Dailah and Eli playing dress up. I loathe the day he decides he wants to run with the boys and not the girl. 😦

7 years ago that was us. Today is Trysten’s birthday. My baby, my firstborn, the first who called me “mom”.

Someone tell me how this one,

became this one.

How these two,

became these three.

.

7 years ago, this boy,

made the rest of these people possible.

Really, it’s unexplainable how that was 7 years ago. It’s also unexplainable why I ever let myself acquire those cheeks and cut my hair in this particular fashion.

The day started with us letting Trysten sleep in a bit, skip the bus and help me pick out special birthday donuts. We went to Casey’s General Store where the manager, upon hearing it was his birthday, gave us a dozen donuts for free. Already prone to sappiness on a day like today, I would’ve cried if not for Trysten’s gloriously happy face looking up at me.

After taking him to school and teaching one of my classes, myself and my two littlest ran to my sister’s house to make the brownies Trysten requested for school. Well, I’m not a baker. Zach’s the baker, I’m the cook. On top of that little fact, Kara’s oven was totally different than mine and it took forever to make the darn brownies. So, with 20 minutes remaining in the school day, I delivered these pretty things.

I’m sure you’ll be shocked to hear the kids thought they were the best brownies they’ve ever tasted (I too am a fan of what we like to call “batter brownies”, not “baked brownies”). When Trysten delivered one to his teacher he gave a nice chuckle before devouring it, I felt vindicated somehow. There were a few minutes left so Trysten asked Tariku to play with him and his friends, Tariku obliged with glee.

Quick naps then a jaunt to Chuck E Cheese (truly, my version of hell on earth) to make the birthday boy happy. No party, just my kids and my nephews.

Finally, we stopped off at an ice cream shop. This is how Trysten likes to bide his time before his ice cream (Oreo) arrives.

I’m exhausted. If I weren’t, I’d be able to tell you more about this 7-year-old that steals hearts as soon as he meets them. This boy that hugs so tightly and so well it’s as if he just can’t get close enough to you. This boy that wasn’t afraid to give his mom a kiss in the middle of a busy hall in elementary school. This boy whose personality most mirrors my own. We like to know there’s a good chance of success before entering into something. We like to be hanging out with friends and family but secretly need more alone time than we like to admit. We’d do anything for anyone but also have moments of pure selfishness.

He and I have lots of “inside jokes”. When I want to tell him I love him but we’re in a place where we shouldn’t be talking (church) I’ll grab his hand and squeeze 3 times, “I love you”. He smiles and my heart sings.

Tonight I thanked him for making me a mommy, this job that I love so much and take so seriously. This exhausting, fulfilling, beautiful “job”. This gift, I do not take for granted.

I closed his door almost 2 hours ago and am now on my third “ugly cry”.

Because no one deserves a mom constantly on her A game more than my 7-year-old. I fall short of that every day.

But every night he hugs me and when I go to leave his room he grabs my hand and squeezes three times, “I love you”.

I’ve started writing this at least 4 times, this is not counting the dozens of times I’ve written it in my head since Friday.

In short, on Friday we found out we were to be parents again. To two boys.

T (we will call him 3T), age 5
B, age 3 – just younger than Dailah

And they are beautiful, and precious and sound amazing and I’m in love.

To rewind a bit, around Thanksgiving we started talking about our “ideal” new kids. All parents do this, this is not just an adoption thing. Parents touch the pregnant belly of the woman and imagine a boy with his hair and a girl with her smile. In adoption we imagine ages, and personality types. How they will fit in with our family. So when I asked Zach what his “ideal” children would be he said, “The gender doesn’t matter so much but I would like one in between our boys and one just younger than Dailah, no babies.”

I had to agree. I love babies, and am excited for my Ethiopian niece who will be younger than 2 and my nephew who is a few months from popping out of my sister-in-law’s uterus. But I feel “done” with babies as well. So I really liked his idea of our next kids.

A few weeks later we were looking at the Waiting Children list from our agency and saw two boys. Ages 5 and 3. Their descriptions were perfect. They were waiting because they were older. They were the exact thing Zach and I had pictured. So we asked about them. No one else had inquired about them and we were given their file.

So we’ve been staring at all of their information for almost 2 months. One of the reasons I like our agency is because with waiting kids they don’t just give the referral to the first person who asks. Interested couples go before a committee (well, all of the couple’s information/homestudy does) who decides whether they are the best match for the waiting kids. It is literally the best case scenario for the kids.

And so we went before our first committee about a month ago. We were the only couple at that time but the committee decided we needed to have an official homestudy (at that time a social worker had just talked to us over the phone) first. This is why our homestudy was so intense. She asked us everything. Our social worker even wanted to see if we had a car big enough, a table big enough, plenty of space and beds for the kids to sleep on. If we didn’t have all of this (which, thankfully, we do) she wanted to see how we were going to afford all of that. I mean, incredible.

So after our homestudy we found out there were two other couples interested in the boys and they would be going to committee with our file. Though our social worker said she would give us a glowing recommendation, Zach and I did not feel optimistic. We knew the committee was concerned about us having so many kids so close in age so we figured one of the other couples wouldn’t have that same issue and would thus be a better fit.

I am not lying when I said I had convinced myself the boys would not be ours. We wanted them, don’t get me wrong, but we’ve been down this international adoption road before and know that getting your hopes up or heart set can lead to some pretty dark days. So after we didn’t pass our first committee I just told myself this must not be God’s plan for our family and felt content in whatever happened.

Then Friday at 1pm happened. Zach and I were wandering around getting stuff for Chicago, we knew the call would be coming soon but since we had prepared ourselves for bad news we weren’t in any hurry to have them call. We were in different cars at the time and talking on the phone when I saw it was our social worker.

Me: “Hello?”

SW: “Tesi? This is SW.” Then she started coughing and looking for water. All I kept thinking was, “Do those sound like happy coughs or sad coughs?”

Me: “You ok?:

SW: “Yes, well, congratulations!”

Me: “(Scream) WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! Are you serious?”

SW: “Yes I’m serious, that would be a really bad joke if I weren’t. What did you think we were going to say?”

Me: “Honestly I thought you were going to say ‘no'”.

SW: “Well, we think you’re crazy but we also think you’re perfect for them.”

And that was it. Zach was pulling into the parking lot at the time. I wanted to try to act neutral to not give it away but I saw that man I love so much and just started jumping up and down screaming. When he rolled down his window all I could say was simply.

“They’re ours.”

And my goodness. What a 3 hour car ride to Chicago! Calling loved ones, emailing loved ones. Dreaming and planning for these boys (since Trysten is “TT” and Tariku is “2T” is T “3T”?). The kids were at my parents and knew nothing about the boys so we also dreamed abut telling them.

Now, I cannot post pictures (or list their full names) of them until after we pass court (another few months) but let me describe them to you.

3T. Is beautiful. He actually looks remarkably like Tariku and not really at all like B. He has Tariku’s cheeks and chin. You can tell in his eyes he is ready for a family in the way Tariku did as well. His measurements put him just shorter than Trysten and just taller than Tariku. He is said to be playful and sociable with an eye always on his little brother.

B. Also beautiful. HUGE eyes. Loose curls that frame his face. In a lot of the pictures it looks like he’s been so active he’s visibly sweating. In a few of his expressions it’s easy to tell he’s got a spunk to him that reminds us of his big sister. He is said to be very close with his older brother. His measurements put him just shorter than Dailah and slightly lighter. He is said to love playing with dolls.

So yes, they sound perfect. Though I know right now I love mostly the idea of them, I am so very excited for the day I can love them for them.

And today, we got to tell our kids! Zach went to his parents’ to print off their pictures while I picked up the kids from my sister’s house. I told them we had a surprise for them at the house.

When we got home we told the kids to go down to the table. Zach was going to show them the pictures while I captured the moment in photos.

Before the surprise.

The moment they saw their brothers.

Tariku after he pointed at 3T and said, “That one looks like me!”

Dailah after hearing she was going to be a big sister to B.

And the brothers looking at the pictures of their brothers.

So what next? Well we have our final homestudy a week from tomorrow. As mentioned, the dossier is officially done so after the homestudy things should be pretty much done until we get closer to travel. We’re planning on travel around August or so. Who knows? Thus far our approach to this adoption is much calmer, much more-shall we say-sane? And I’m going to try to hang on to that for as long as feasibly possible.

If it’s any indication as to my success so far, I’ve already gone 3 days without eating an ounce of cookie dough.

It’s been a great few days.